Toast
by Corselli
Summary: Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Even if it's just the toast falling butter-side down.
1. Haku

_**Toast is a collaborative project between, currently, Corselli and Stalker of Stories. It is a series of one-shots that follows the bad days and the very bad days of different characters in various fandoms.**_

_**This particular file is dedicated to the Naruto fandom, written by Corselli. **_

_**Stalker of Stories is writing one dedicated to the Harry Potter fandom.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The series and characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi.**

**Warnings: Character death, sadness, and fallen toast. And excessive use of Murphy's Law.**

**Toast  
Corselli  
Chapter 1- Haku**

It all started when his toast landed butter-side down. Haku frowned as his mother picked it up off of the ground. She smiled at him and brushed off the toast.

"10 second rule. It's all good," she told him as she handed the toast to him.

"Thank you, Mother," Haku said before he took a bite of the fire-toasted bread.

Haku's family- well, his mother's side- wasn't one that bought into the silliness of superstition. After all, they broke mirrors all the time when they had been alive to practice their techniques. But maybe that was the reason they were no longer among he living- the constant breaking of mirrors built up such bad luck that the bloodline massacre occurred.

Or maybe that had to do with everyone else fearing them. No one really knew.

But Haku's father did believe in superstition. Luckily, he was out at a town meeting that morning, so he was not there to forbid his son and wife from even touching the unoffending piece of sliced grain. This morning, however, a warning against such actions would have been necessary to prevent the deaths of Haku's family.

Because Haku ate his buttered toast instead of asking for a new slice, he believed he had some free time to practice his secret bloodline away from his father's suspicious eyes.

The young boy excused himself from the table so that he could practice outside, believing that his father was still at the meeting.

Once outside, Haku quickly lost track of tie, absorbed in the frozen marvel of his bloodline jutsu. But he was broken out of his state of wonder when he heard his mother's scream.

Haku looked up in terror. There he saw- to his dismay and horror- his father stabbing his mother in an uncontrollable rage. He was urged on (no that he needed it) by the men that surrounded him, crying out.

"Kill her!"

"Kill the demon monster!"

Frozen in fear, Haku watched as the mob turned their anger and hatred towards him. They rushed out of the house with pitch forks, swords, and torches in their hands, eager to kill off the bloodline scum.

Haku's father led them.

The boy fell into the snow in shock. As the mob came closer, the young ice-user closed his eyes and raised his arms in a weak defense, waiting for the pain of the beating and death that was sure to come.

He heard the sound of something piercing bodies, but Haku felt no pain.

Maybe they had been merciful and had killed him in one blow, leaving him no time for pain. Maybe Haku was in heaven, and that's why he felt nothing but the frigid air and the cold wet snow under him.

Slowly, Haku opened his eyes and lowered his arms. The sight of dead men, killed by the ice spikes that had formed in the red snow, greeted him. Haku saw his father, who stared at him with lifeless eyes, also among the fallen.

But Haku ignored them all as he struggled to his feet. He had to see what happened to his mother.

The young boy rushed to the house and wept as he saw her broken body on the kitchen floor.

Just like the toast she had picked up that very morning, she had fallen face-down.

Only this time, no one would pick her back up.

**A/N:  
This was inspired when I dropped my midnight snack- a piece of buttered toast- on the ground. And it happened to land butter side down. Kia (Stalker) was with me, and she made the comment that became the summary. Due to the fact that we were exploring plot bunnies (Yay bunnies!), I immediately decided that her words would make an amazing story summary. So from there we came up with this and other related series of one-shots. **

**If you are interested on getting in on this challenge/project with us, please send me or Stalker a PM. Please see the rules/guidelines posted on both of our profile pages.**


	2. Hayate

_**Toast is a collaborative project between, currently, Corselli and Stalker of Stories. It is a series of one-shots that follows the bad days and the very bad days of different characters in various fandoms.**_

_**This particular file is dedicated to the Naruto fandom, written by Corselli. **_

_**Stalker of Stories is writing one dedicated to the Harry Potter fandom.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The series and characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi.**

**Warnings: Character death, sadness, and fallen toast. And excessive use of Murphy's Law.**

**Toast**

**Corselli**

**Chapter 2- Hayate**

Gekkou Hayate never thought that he would ever dislike toast. He loved eating toast. Ever since he set his eyes on it, he had always loved eating toast. Buttered, with jam or honey, wheat or white, plain or slathered- it didn't matter! There was just no denying the fact.

Gekkou Hayate loved toast.

It was for this reason that Hayate was picking up his buttered toast off of the ground on that one cheery- but sad- morning. He groaned. It had landed butter-side down, and it was his last piece of bread in the house! He had planned on going to the grocery store yesterday, but he had been stuck chasing down the Kyuubi brat after one of the kid's pranks. By the time he had gotten around to the store it was past closing time.

Thus, Hayate was left with only one piece of buttermilk bread to have at breakfast that morning.

Muttering over the fallen piece of toast, he made no thought as to what the consequences of taking a bite of the toasted slice of bread might be. No, instead Hayate quickly finished the toast and the rest of his breakfast (a healthy one including scrambled eggs peppered with chunks of ham and a glass of milk) and went about his day.

What Hayate didn't realize was that while his innocent piece of toast had been lying butter-side down on the ground, it had picked up a rather stubborn bacterial fungus. The bacterial fungus then transferred itself to the cells of Hayate's esophagus as he swallowed. Then when those cells reproduced, they unintentionally reproduced the bacterial fungi that would endure countless medication and confuse even the best of the medics in Konoha.

Sadly, Hayate didn't survive the preceding events of the Sound Invasion. If he had, he would have saved a household party of 17 guests during the invasion, as well as been able to have the legendary sucker Tsunade find the cure to his unique and stubborn strain of the said bacterial fungus that plaqued him for the last 4 and a half years.

But he didn't.

So as the unsuspecting chuunin traveled to the Hokage's tower, mentally making sure to remember to pick up more bread, it never crossed his mind that his innocent toast might have been the cause of the most annoying thing to happen to him.

And at that moment, for the very first time in all of his life, Gekkou Hayate coughed.

**A/N:  
Ah, the sad story of Gekkou Hayate, aka the coughing chuunin who oversaw the preliminary battles of the Chuunin Exams. His poor toast was to blame, even though it was only the carrier of the strange bacterial fungus that I'm not even bothering to name/research. How sad for him!**

**By the way, I do know that bacterial fungi don't exist. I'm just lazy and didn't research an actual bacteria or fungi to infect Hayate with. Nor could I choose between making it a bacteria or a fungus… so I just combined the two. **

**Also, I would like to announce that we have 3 people who are joining me and Kia in our project! **_**Cordria **_**will be writing a Danny Phantom version of Toast, **_**optimus prime 007 **_**will be writing for Transformers, and **_**Detective Ethan Redfield**_** will be writing for Detective Conan. Thanks for joining the project guys!**

**Links to all of the Toast stories can be found on my page and in the Toast C2.**


End file.
